How to Avoid Becoming a Bridezilla

Everyone loves a bride, but very few people can tolerate a "bridezilla". A bride is a woman who is engaged to be married and is happily enjoying planning her wedding and all other aspects of her wedding. A bridezilla is an engaged woman who is so stressed out planning her wedding that she makes everyone around her (including herself!) miserable. Planning a wedding should be a fun, exciting time in your life, not a time of excessive stress and misery. As a newlywed recently married in Houston, there are several stress management tips that that I learned and would like to pass along to anyone currently planning their wedding.

Perspective

Many brides get overly caught up in the numerous details surrounding their wedding, which often results in panic and stress. While your wedding is inarguably a very important, special day in your life, it's very important to realize that it is truly just one day. I would advise any bride to focus on the 'big picture' and try to avoid getting caught up in worrying about every single, little minute detail of the wedding. Of course it is important that you plan your wedding carefully to avoid any problems, but at the same time there are going to be some details so minor that truly it makes no difference if they are done or not. For example, does it really matter if all bridesmaids do not have the exact same color of toenail polish the day of the wedding or if the mother-of -the-bride's dress is similar to the mother-of-the-groom? I know it's easier said than done, but try and focus on the excitement and nostalgia of the marriage itself and focus less on things that truly won't matter even one year from now.

Delegation

Keep in mind that there are likely several people that you know (friends and/or family members) who would be thrilled to assist you in some aspect of the wedding. It's incredibly easy to feel like only you can be 'trusted' to get wedding tasks done properly but often, there are minor tasks that you can delegate which would help you immensely. For example, if you don't have the time to contact all your wedding vendors right before the wedding to confirm everything's on schedule, why not ask your sister to do that for you? Just give her a list and consider it done. No time to pick up the bridesmaid's gifts? Chances are your mother would be glad to help out. Your friends and family can't read your mind. Unless they have recently been through a wedding, they probably have no idea what needs to be done unless you tell them (this includes the groom, too!). As long as people do not feel like you are taking advantage of them, they are often honored to be asked and very happy to help.

Sense of Humor

You simply have to maintain a sense of humor during the wedding planning process. Believe it or not, you will be surprised at some of the seemingly insensitive things that will pop out of people's mouths while you are planning your wedding ("You registered where?? Oh, I hate that store…why on earth would you register there?"). Try not to take any random comments too seriously and just laugh them off. It's important you not stress over other people's perceptions of what your wedding should be. Also, in all events leading up to (and including!) your wedding, it's highly likely that something may go wrong or not exactly as planned. Just to provide a little anecdote on this issue, I arrived at our rehearsal dinner (along with the wedding party, their dates, our families, etc) to find out to my chagrin that nothing was ready for us…in fact, the night manager had no idea we were coming (apparently some slight miscommunication between the day shift who I been talking to and the night shift). At first I found myself getting really upset and distressed, until I realized that they could accommodate us just fine and I was causing everyone else to be upset. It turned out to be a perfectly wonderful evening. The point of my story is if anything goes awry, just roll with it, make the best of it, and chances are everything will work out just fine.

Treat Yourself

My favorite stress management tip is that if you find the wedding pressure bearing down on you, take some time out from all the planning to treat yourself. Schedule an appointment for a facial, manicure, pedicure, or massage (or all the above!). Plan some time to meet with friends over coffee or drinks and request that you all talk about things other than your wedding plans (or, in reverse, ask if you can "vent" to them, depending on what you feel would help you the most). Another fun way to relax and still be in the wedding mode is to rent classic movies like "Father of the Bride", "My Best Friend's Wedding", or "The Wedding Planner". Alternately, you and your fiancée could have a 'date night' where just the two of you spend time together. Taking some time out to relax and enjoy yourself will help make the overall planning process more fun for you.

There is no doubt that wedding planning can be a stressful experience. However, it is important that you make an effort to enjoy your engagement and the planning process because it is a wonderful time of your life. Enjoy!